Dear Land-Lady (If that really IS your name...)

Was that you that just knocked on my door randomly? Again? Let's talk about this. Can you PLEASE NOT DO THAT? Every time you knock on our door, one of three scenarios lead me to not answer.

I am usually:

A. Asleep, or,
B. Nude, or,
C. DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

Please consider leaving a note or something like a normal Land-Lady, or I will be forced to continue to make fun of you for taking mushrooms and going to Bonaroo.

Kthanxbye,

Devo